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lingerie: H&M, cardigan: H&M, everything else is second hand

During my latest exam period I lost a lot of weight rapidly due to stress and I haven’t been able to gain my lost butt since. It’s so strange, sometimes I feel like I inhabit a new body; I trace my thighs and I don’t notice any loss but when I look into a mirror I realize my butt is gone, my hip, collar and rib bones protrude even more. I notice my waist has shrunk because all my waist-belts hang loose and listlessly; even though I have three holes I regularly use (#1 before breakfast, #2 after breakfast, #3 after eating a big meal (option #4 is to remove belt when eating voraciously because then all that matters is food)) and my smallest one is still too big. I look into a mirror sideways and notice my arms have grown less flabby and I put on make up on Photobooth and see a glimpse of cheekbones. The latter I like, my butt I miss even though I’ve long wondered how I’d look a little skinnier; I stroke my thighs and feel ambiguous.

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If I can bear my heart publicly, I can bear my cheap H&M lingerie publicly.

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