everything is second hand except the pom pom on my head and the socks which were a gift

Some days I look down at my outfit and realise it was funded by impossibly little euros. This was one of those days I realised I looked awesome in a eight euro outfit. And I love that, I love that I rummage and dig all the little dusty corners of smelly boxes till I get what I want just because I am so passionate about dressing up. But sometimes it gets me down too. Sometimes I go out in real stores and silently weep for the prices, even in those horrible retail stores. But food, too. And so many things like buying drinks at a bar, or an album, or a train ticket, or a sandwhich when you’re outside and hungry and ice cream ice cream ice cream. Everything, really. And it sucks to have to make choices all the time and I want that piece of salmon damn it and quinoa and ugh if I have to stand here sober between all these drunk sweaty dancing people I’m just gonna die without a glass of wine, and oh my god will you look at that pretty dress why am I not allowed pretty things? and pretty people and pretty cars and furniture and If I’d only own this and that I’d be truly happy and I could start my life.

Let’s be real, my sadness and longing in this sense is unaltered bullshit. It is purely caused by a consumerist visual culture that promises dearly you’ll be happy if you only own this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this. Oh and buy this to buy less!

You don’t need any of that.

But sometimes it’s just damn hard for all of us to see through that and realise we don’t need either those things or that much money. If you can eat and have a roof over your head without worrying you’re really damn privileged and you better realise it.

Sometimes it stings and nags though. Here’s what I do about it: I don’t ever and I mean ever visit a store that’s out of my price range and when I don’t have any money I don’t visit stores, period. Advertising is the devil and you better know it; I use Adblock on all my browsers and try to look away from cheesy ads on the street. I don’t own a TV, and it’s made a huge positive impact on my life. No magazines or big fancy blogs ever. Damn it, magazines and blogs, you make me feel fat and ugly and poor, and I am neither of that. I am fabulous and wealthy in both looks and life and advertising better realise it soon enough.

After several years of this I feel pretty resistant against advertising and pretty things though that doesn’t mean I’ll have my bad days. I can still get super down on not having a lot of money to buy food though. I just love food so much. I am clawing at my teary-eyed face just thinking about fancy foods.

I mean, what do you do about this never-ending consumerist lust which is such a drag and bummer on your life?