Nice day for a sulk

I’m finally through with my resits/exams and I am incredibly glad because I struggled with my art history course so much. Not because it went above my capacity to understand, and not only because I found it a highly one-dimensional course (art is never just art but an indicator of a certain zeitgeist so how can you only teach us one viewpoint? etc. etc.) but also because it quite simply completely ignored women’s liberation. One of the more telling examples is that only one woman in the Bauhaus is mentioned, whereas the director of the institute claimed gender inequality was over in 1919. This, despite the fact he only let women work in textiles (these women are not mentioned even though their designs are still being produced). This I know because I read and researched it myself, not because it was in my course. Does that not show you the zeitgeist of that time but also of the time this book was written and of the time this course was given? Does that not show you how women’s liberation happened but was only often executed on the surface (or not at all), but a deep-rooted misogyny on the inside? This is not the zeitgeist of the 1930s, but also of today. At least that’s what I conclude out of the overlooking of pretty much every female artist of 1900-1950. And if they aren’t overlooked, their autonomy in their own work is often completely negated by explaining this or this man told her to do this so and so etc.

It made me feel so incredibly alienated. I feel like it subliminally told me I have no right to study this, that I don’t have a place in the art world, and the world in general. It made me feel like I was going mad, because surely this course couldn’t be telling me this subliminally and/or consciously or not, right?

I can’t deny it; lately I’ve noticed an exponential rise in my anger towards (gender) inequality. So I wondered, do I have some sort of superfluous anger to vent and am I just projecting? But I realised, the older I get the more I start to identify myself as a woman, female and consequently the more I understand and feel the sting of gender inequality, the more I see that society’s image of a woman is almost completely opposed to how I feel. How I see myself as a woman, and how society tells me a woman should be is completely contradictory. There’s a giant discrepancy between those two images and it is extremely alienating to me. Man, is that how it feels to be a woman? Because it sucks, it suxxxxxxxxxxx.

That said, how amazing are these glittery sheep hair clips? Glitter. Sheep. In. My. Hair.

Fly me to the moon

It may have been my being absolutely and wholly broke, or an increasing tendency to eat, you know, actual food instead of ramen, or more admiringly a disgust in my own shopping habits but in May I made a personal pledge to not buy anything non-edible for a month. In the case of the latter, I felt pretty awful about this sort of undying urge to get shiny, new stuff, no matter what. And I have to say, seemingly unlike most in the fashion blogosphere I was inspired by blogs and blogger’s questioning of their own habits and general consumerist zeitgeist to stop shopping and live consciously rather than getting an even more consumerist urge to perpetually show new clothes instead of new combos of old clothes. And to be fair, when I think about it now, the latter is much more interesting. I find it quite inspiring.

So, I ended up not buying anything for four months up until very recently and I am planning on continuing this, no matter how difficult it may be with my soon to be newly acquired money. To keep that in check I’ve laid down a couple of rules.

I am mainly posting this for self-reference and hopefully an outside pressure to keep myself to these rules, hah.

1. Is it well-made and will it last for at the very least two years?

2. Will I wear it frequently? Or will I cherish it mightily and occasionally pull it out of my wardrobe stare, sigh wistfully and wear it while drunkenly dancing, holding a gin & tonic in one hand a brush for lip-syncing in the other on a lonely Friday night? (Let’s be frank here, we all need that kind of dresses –although not too many- , guys, even the men amongst us. Just saying.)

3. And lastly, but definitely not least as I must remember that I am still only a student: Is it in my price range? Or is it worth eating noodles for a month for? (It hardly ever is any more; I literally cannot stomach noodles any more. Oh, the heartache.)

+++ (edit) : at the very maximum one shopping trip per month unless I see a desired item that I’ve lusted after for months/years.

(These rules may not seem impressive, but if I have to keep to all three of these all the time, they are for me! Which might be quite sad…)

I’ve often reasoned that dressing up is my hobby and that I quite deserve buying a lot of stuff because that is basically my only hobby and the only thing I spend actual money on (aside from books) and even so most stuff I buy is really cheap and also second hand so why should I stop, I mean it’s totes okay for the environment? etc. etc. But really, there’s no need for me to have an unreasonably large collection of clothes so I’ve also recently donated four bags of clothes and one bag of shoes and 6 purses to good will and I am quite relieved. And I must remember this! Feel free to remind me of this post when you see some new dresses popping up here, because I kinda have a problem! :D

I am not stopping shopping completely though. I finally have money to spend on decently made clothes that aren’t second hand and 2 Euro a pop. And I am looking forward to buying from some independent designers or whatever, damn it.

Life’s a gas

I recently started my summer job as a museum supervisor. Though it’s undeniably dull, I kind of love it because basically I’m getting paid to pace around beautiful objects, stare at people, read and sit. It’s strangely tiring though so I might forget to regularly post and comment. I am currently also pretty ill so basically I should have no energy left but I kind of want to take my time for a little rant anyway. It’s about Jezebel.com. And it’s about me being pissed off.

So, I used to be a huge Jezebel fan. When I first started reading it, it took a refreshing not-so-very-ranty approach to feminism. It was witty, insightful and intelligently written. But this past year I’ve noticed a huge downfall, and when I occasionally come back for reading rare well-written and awesome articles I mostly close my browser window after five minutes, being incredibly pissed off at the fake feminism they’re now mostly promoting. I think I feel the strongest hate for the Dress Code series and when I checked Jezebel this morning I could not believe the approach they took was even more offensive. There’s this article, in which they give advice for ‘petite ladies’… They start off summing up the usual shit you find in those dreadful ladymags. I then think, obviously they are going to dismiss this because ‘dressing for your figure’ is complete and utter bullshit and, in my humble opinion, also completely anti-feminist because why the fuck should I ever want to want to dress to conform to this really stupid, archaic but mostly insultingly generic “ideal” of a woman today? I’m going to quote this utterly perfect definatalie post and say:

Restricting and policing women (and men, but women are certainly the overwhelming focus of body and fashion criticism in the western world) and their fashion choices under the guise of helping them look more palatable to other people is harmful and hurtful. That we are indoctrinated into feeling indebted to people for pointing out our “flaws” feeds into the cycle of shame, and the endless pursuit of some kind of really boring and generic idea of beauty.

But you know what they did instead? THEY ADD MORE INSULTING TIPS.

I admit, this is a personal and fairly arbitrary reason to dismiss a blog, but this isn’t the only anti-feminist thing they’ve published recently. In that same day even they published an article that, although seemingly trying to avoid criticising a woman’s body and her choices revolving around food, they are VERY OBVIOUSLY DOING IT ANYWAY.

So I seriously ask, how is this still seen as a feminist blog? Jezebel went from being the feminist answer for insulting women’s magazines to the ladymags it so supposedly hates (aside from some occasionally post that are errr … is mostly republished). And I am just ranting about the smallest facet of a myriad of problems in Jezebel lately here.