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I am not going to apologise for absence or lack of activity, though I want to. I really really really wish I could sleep. Or that I didn’t have an incessant headache. Or that I could breathe freely. Or that every thing, even things I look forward to so badly, didn’t feel like an impossible task. And I feel that drawing, which used to be the one thing that could make me feel Okay of all things, has been taken away from me because it’s so intrinsically linked with school that I start sobbing by putting down one line of stupid stupid ink.

Because I don’t have the energy to stand in front of my fancy camera here are some outfit shots and then some I took this past month and in December with my cat camera.

It makes every colour brighter, it forces you lose control over your picture picture due to the lack of a monitor, and it has its own will most of the time. And I kind of wish my life/mindset was like that right now. Weird and flimsy and idiosyncratic and random instead of dull, monotonous and rigid.

I would like some long tiny sheep, please.

My grandfather keeps collecting cats in his backyard. There are three kittens outside of the frame.

I really really really wish I could sleep.


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