The Pupa Woman

Quite a while ago I wrote something about Jun Togawa for the now sadly defunct Untitled Mag. I suddenly felt the urge to revisit my thoughts, dove into the Wayback Machine and grabbed a cache. What follows is basically the original text but with some changes added. First I wanted to remember how I felt about her, how she has influenced me, but by reading this I realise she’s still sewn within myself, and she’ll […]

unfold in a generous way

How do you get so stuck in our ways? Why do we push ourselves so hard? My life is only school school school right now. It’s making me physically ill. I am so hurt by the constant never-ending struggle of chasing after money I cannot catch. Anxiety festers and rots me to my core. I am a tight knot and I cannot entangle myself. It’s not meant to be a strife It’s not meant to […]

it’s not up to you

Obviously I’ve immersed myself into Vulnicura, Björk latest album, already. But with every Björk album I grow closer and deeper and more entertwined. It’s a time process of getting to unravel so many sensitivities, let alone the music itself. So I want to revist a song I need to revisit often: It’s Not Up to You. Because it’s not up to you. Because because beacuse I feel so often: I wake up And the day […]

Am I doing it? Can I have it all now?

I feverishly listened to Kate Bush’s Suspended in Gaffa since I was 21. At 26 it still touches me to my core. Maybe it’s a quentesential generational thing for me, maybe it’s about the terifying fear of twenty-somethings promised to be able to have it all and being slapped by reality and cowering away. I don’t want it all but the power inside of me speaks so loud and wants it all. But I cannot. […]

This time I’m gonna keep me all to myself.

Bjork’s Pagan Poetry song and video means a lot to me. There’s a lot of symbolism going on, but it matters nothing to me. To me, the song, especially combined with the video is about finding a love, a secret pleasure so good, so pure, she will keep it all to herself. But not an external love in the shape of a person. She found it in the darkest part of herself. It’s scary but […]

summer POP!

A moodboard feels kinda ’08, no? But I felt like making one! I want my summer to be filled with bold, clashing and bright patterns, a little mix of black&white, some kick ass clunky shoes (clunky as in seemingly awkward but designed to perfection) and some poppy, kid-like cuteness like a food-shaped tiny bag! It feels very busy and that’s exactly how I want to be. Details: ✿ Romwe pinapple bag ✿ Eley Kishimoto over-the-knee socks ✿ Marimekko Unikko fabric ✿ vintage […]

stand up you’ve got to manage

I had a small or not so small breakdown recently. That’s ok. It happens, relapse happens. I am strong enough; I can do this. One of the things that never fails to help me; or rather one of the things that make me cry while I’m curled in in a ball of misery, one of the things that slowly unfurl that ball of misery just a litte less tight is a couple of songs. Firstly, […]

FLAWLESS

me listening to Blow; it’s almost sacriligious to post selfies when talking about Beyoncé, but there’s so many good looks and stills to choose from her album I just couldn’t choose!! Who has been crying over the goodness that is Beyoncé’s visual album? Not gonna, lie I was completely teary-eyed after I marathonned them all. You can watch them here, but if you have the money I really feel you should buy it. Usually I […]

Never Give Up!!

I’ve seen this super cute video floating by on tumblr ocassionally and finally watched it and was immediately overcome by shame because I hadn’t clicked on it before. Of course I am exaggerating when I say shame because Shuzo Matsuoka won’t let me feel any negative emotions! Never give up!! So I looked him up! Apparently Shuzo Matsuoka is a former famous Japanese tennis player who has taken up making motivational videos. I wish I […]