our likeness


via my own tumblr post, bikini by La Fille d’O, I’ve been borrowing these sunglasses for two years straight so idk where they’re from

Never mind our local perpetually rainy weather, summer has arrived and my summer goal is to wear as little as possible. It cost me a lot of energy to look forward to skimpy summer fashion, but the time and energy I’ve put into it reward me every day with waking up looking at myself and being absolutely fine with it and even loving/adoring/worshipping myself most of the time. Not only has looking at myself stopped costing me a lot of draining negative energy, but it’s gained me a lot of positive energy that helps me through the day.

For sure, I believe I have it pretty easy compared to a lot of people because I am already considered pretty cute according to many societal standards that give me a lot of advantages but I feel anyone can take up the journey of battling their own low self-esteem. I’ll lend you some energy when you feel depleted.

Personally, I’ve battled this idea instilled in me that I had to look attractive at all times, and the poisonous view that my, and other bodies, were nothing more than a summary of qualified and unqualified limbs. This I’ve stamped out of myself by forcing to look at myself meticulously every day, and it did it so especially by wearing clothes what I thought were somehow unflattering or ugly (terms that I don’t believe in any more), and being naked, of course. Being naked a lot. I looked at others, too, and saw how their bodies were living, breathing vessels that bring us pleasure and sadness and beauty. And gradually, I learned to rid myself of petty jealousies, criticisms and learned how to feel comfortable in clothing I used to believe unflattering and my world is so much freer because of it.

I don’t think it’s coincidental that I was coming out of depression when I decided to stop the negative energy I’d been afflicting myself with every day. And I don’t think it’s coincidental that I am currently battling ugly ideas instilled in me about my personality. What I do is unapologetically be my horrible self, even though I cringe sometimes. I will get over that. I know that I am riddled with flaws but, though I should work on them, I should never apologise for being my true self and erase myself in the process.

Loving yourself means having the energy, space and time to love and help others, and in turn that will reward you with more love and positivity in your life. There is no amount of energy that isn’t worth a fight for this reward.

I am interested in how other people have grown into self-love, and I am interested in helping other along their personal journey into the acceptance of their own fabulosity. Tell me how you feel about yourself and we can encourage each other to love one another and ourselves or we can swap stories how we got to loving ourselves!

My Tumblr world always has good tips on my favourite subjects so here are some links:

Heavy Petting video on self-love and self-care with a small emphasis on fat body positivity (also check out all of their videos!)
10 Ways to be a body positive advocate
How to deal with people wearing unflattering outfits

11 Comments

  • I really, really appreciate that you have sent out this bundle of positivity, optimism about self-love, about being unapologetic for ones insecurities and flaws, about expanding our comfort zones of exploring and loving our bodies, and most of all assimilating this positive energy to the people around us. Thank you for the inspiration and the sincerity put into this post -there are many problems in the world dealing with this issue, and I’m glad you see it in yourself to encourage people to stay strong in the face of them.

  • Seconding everything in Rachel’s comment.

    I think it takes great strength and courage and a lot of time to acknowledge one’s weaknesses, and even more strength to decide to not give a damn. I myself am yet to get to the stage where I love myself and my body, and I tell myself that most of the time (although I LOVE clothes) I am quite happy for my clothes to say absolutely nothing about me. But deep down I know this is not true. It’s partly because clothes exhaust me, but the main reason is that I just don’t see myself in a positive enough light. I almost feels like a lie to dress up nicely and project an image of myself that shows that I value myself. Which is kind of sad when I think about it.

    Oh sorry for the ramble! Thanks for putting this out, thanks for the honesty.

  • you look glamorous! this is the best kind of post. thank you!

  • First of all, look at that cute booty!
    Second of all, I’m so happy that you’re getting comfortable with yourself and pouring in all the self-love that you need! You sound so cherry and bright because of it! I’m glad 🙂

    Hmmm, as for self-stuff, I write about it all the time on my blog, but for most days in particular, I read up and celebrate things that make my spirit rise and congratulate me. So I’ll go throughout the day saying “WATCH OUT FOR THIS BAD BITCH, BECAUSE SHE IS SO AWESOME,” or something like “Look at this babely Queen”. Like fuck, I’d fuck me (and I do!) 😀

    Love this post so much 🙂

  • Well, I never had problems with how my body was when I was 12 and 140 pounds. Really, I wore a bikini to the neighbourhood pool. And then when I turned thirteen,and lost some weight, I started to feel more uncomfortable with myself, and like I wasn’t pretty. That’s my problem…and even when people tell me I am pretty, I’m very incredulous. That’s my problem.

    P.S. Your bathing suit is really cute

    • It doesn’t matter how you look, society is always going to try to make you feel bad about yourself. It’s up to you to change that, it’s hard work but I know you can do it!

  • It’s like I could have written this post myself (not to take away from what you put into it).

    Mirror nudity is so helpful. And thinking about other people “from the inside”!

  • Oh p.s. For clarity, is that baked like stoned, or baked like a typo of naked? Middle of the third paragraph.

  • Great post. I also have trouble with trying to love and accept myself, while simultaneously obsessing about my flaws. As of now, I have my good days and my bad days. It’s about getting out of black and white, purely ego-driven, thinking. THAT SAID, I think it’s important to be patient and not expect the moon in terms of complete self-acceptance. Life will always be a (beautiful) struggle.

    x Peter @ https://low–couture.blogspot.com

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