it whispers

Ōtomo no Yakamochi (Vol. 19, poem 4291) in Man’yōshū.   Currently I’m dipping my toes and fingernails in the realm of the impossible. The one where boundaries live. Maybe the true ghost realm (for me?). The one that’s easily forgotten, but once known, turns towards you with a painful weird sort of vengeance. Slippery, only vaguely visible, seemingly unreal, often cited as unnatural. Ghost-like; hard to catch, to see, to understand and when they do show […]

Remembrance of Earth’s Past

Liu Cixin has made me question every sci-story every invented for its lack of vision. Cixin’s The Three Body Problem was so grand in scope, so truly “hard sci-fi” yet at the same time managed to capture humanity, individualism, doubt uncertainty, unfailing hope. All while narrating the start and end of our entire universe (as we know it). When I first started the first novel of its trilogy I remember nearly wanting to quit on every […]

I said to myself, you can’t shatter open

“I said to myself, you can’t shatter open.” A sentence in Esme Weijung Wang’s The Border of Paradise. I told myself this often enough, I cannot shatter; even the smallest cracks weren’t allowed. And then. Not cracks. No shattering. Disintegration. Myself, my world and the chilling after-waves, still rippling across everyone and thing I was near. Some after-waves choking and drowning some, sometimes happily or sacrificially so. Time, opportunities, trust: long since washed away. It’s a […]

SKINCARED

Skin, skin, skin! It’s been my top obsession these last two years.Foremost as an excuse to exhume the ghost out of my shell and melt together in one. Mindfully pat-pat-patting my skin reminded me I am flesh, bones, and sinews too. Skin structured my morning and night routine, almost feeling like a well-rounded person. Chaos got structured and filed next to adult-like files I just know nothing about. My skincare started simple, grew to routine […]

new song

I love this dress. I got it because it felt work appropriate and I’m always trying to find a balance between work and fun in my clothes. Reading the sartorial guidelines on a possible new job opening……. I am very much off the mark. Haha! It’s way too short and of course I cannot ignore my instinct to pair it with bright colours (so bright here). Oh well. No job yet. Maybe a break instead. […]

roooood

So anyways I was sad today and then my second Orla Kiely shoes arrived which went perfectly with the dress I just put on and they go so nice together. That’s such a cute coincidence and I needed to document that. It’s the coincidence I want to share not the shoes & the buying & buying & buying. Feelings, smiles and good things. That needs to be remembered. I need to document these tiny moments […]

greedy greedy greedy

Th exact moment I forgot how annoying taking outfit pics can be, screaming (whisper) to myself WHY? Because I love everyone who checks this lil space out once in a while. Resignation: nap while standing. Shoes by Orla Kiely, dress from a magical attic where vintage treasures made in exactly my size are silently waiting for me. Earrings by Poola Katarynya.

dematerializing

I mean…. My essay for Issue Four of Doll Hospital Journal! Click here for details. & buy buy buy ASAP if you’d like a hard copy edition of Issue Three! We’re currently accepting pre-orders til April 2. Not only will you get a lovely book to sit-stop-read, get calm, feel understood or get a chance to read others’ experiences with mental health. A digital copy of our latest will zoom right to you. No white-washing, manic […]

soft bip

I love how these turned out! I don’t really ever truly like my outfit pics but these some sort of vintage vibe and the colours are wonderful. The colours were born while I was trying to get rid of the yellow light in my room…Then there was also this one, in which I wanted to show my makeup… Sorta…. Also sorta 90s. Love it. In the second pic below you can also see my earrings that often […]