tulpen

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socks: Fräulein Prusselise, shoes: Swedish Hasbeens, everything else is second hand

Yesterday I was menstruating and feeling bad and grumpy and when I passed by a school cafeteria with large windows I saw young girl’s faces turn round one by one to where I was walking and I laughed but when that kept happening throughout the day I got grumpier and anxious and wanted to hide out and never go outside again. Usually I’m too oblivious to notice; I am blessed. Still, I am not outside of this world and I hate this belgian staring game because belgians are too afraid of confrontation (we would excuse ourselves for breathing) so in our catholic anxiety we stare everyone down in the hope of making others feel smaller than you yourself and mostly I laugh in their faces as if I was given a compliment but this drags me down just as much as cat-calling does. It makes me so madsad and sadmad because why would we even go outside anymore, why would you?

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16 Comments

  • I am loving the outfit 🙂 especially the cloudy socks 🙂

    I grew up with the constant fear of people judging me and looking down on me, so I just wore boring stuff, trying to stay out of sight. But I think it is all in my head, so I am slowly but surely curing myself of this, by freaking people out in the office with Margiela for H&M sweater – a couple of dudes way over 40 actually sniggered into their fists! OMG, but I did not feel embaraced, I felt good about myself. I wore something I really like in spite of what other people might think 🙂

    I am jealous that you normally do not notice such things, I am always too aware of my suroundings.

    • Yes I’m super lucky!!
      I admit, when I have bad days, I do often feel paranoid and notice I will often think people are laughing at me when they couldn’t possibly. However, sometimes people want me to notice them laughing at me; they often go out of their way for it letting me know by laughing loudly, pointing and so on. I don’t feel humiliated ever because I’m crazy confident (I often surprise myself by how little I care!) but it makes me feel so sad people feel the need to do that? I’ve noticed it might be a thing people do to get noticed as cool or whatever in a group?
      Whatever the case, it’s a sad thing people do and it’s something worth learning how to ignore. Who wants that kind of negativity in their life? ugh

      • i think it is like trying to fit in the group, by humiliating an outsider – you have a commong hatred for something…

        I am not at that level yet, to get pointed at, not sure I will ever reach that don’t care state, but I am working in that direction 🙂 So far my experiments end with annoying my colleagues, by wearing pink shoes and stuff 🙂

        • Yes! Bonding by a common hatred for something… I always forget that’s a thing that people do. I am grossed out by it, I don’t want to start a relationship based on negativity, you know? But to each their own. I hope a lot of people have bonded over my ridiculous outfits, that would be nice, actually! 😀

          Heh, I hope you reach that level if you want to! You seem to have the courage for it! GOOD LUCK ^o^

  • Eline,

    most of your readers probably know how you feel because we relate so much.

    I’ve been living in the Netherlands for a couple of years but used to live in France, and part of my decision to stay was because I didn’t encounter that kind of behavior on a daily basis (I lived in a small town and Paris, and it’s the same shit everywhere).

    I’ve had a few experiments with style as I grew up, but even when my appearance didn’t match an “easy target” (goths!), even when I was just having fun mixing colors with vintage clothes, there was always a moron getting out of his way to give me an unnecessary negative feedback. That is not making anyone’s day better, as we know (not even his, probably).

    When you feel like shit, try to keep in mind you also inspire people. I’ve probably written that before, but sometimes when I see something cute and colorful I just wonder how you’d wear it and it puts a smile on my face.

    Sad thing is, there will always be people who are too scared to make their own bold choices, and who will hide behind their cowardice by pointing their fingers at free-thinkers instead of growing balls for themselves. Most of these people are probably secretly sad that they don’t have much creativity, or that they feel too smothered in their own environment to walk slightly off the beaten tracks.

    Sorry about the 2 cents philosophy moment, but I like to believe there’s another explanation for that kind of behavior, besides people being too gratuitously stupid (a very depressing thought to have indeed).

    Thank you for giving us eye candy and keeping up the awesome outfits documented here.

    You’re the bravest, prettiest tulip of them all.

    <3

    (I wrote another 3 page long ball of sap of a comment, looks like I can't help it… 🙂 )

    • Thank you for your kind words! I don’t necessarily need to know I inspire people, but I will keep in mind how many people out there get me <3. But that's the thing that makes me upset most too; to know that there are a lot of people out there who don't have my level of obliviousness or intense self-love but still want to rock some weird outfits. I just hate that there are people, among which are my friends, that have inside fabulous all-glam outfit but change as soon as they have to go outside because the pressure of being stared at is too much. That's what makes me so mad at these people, that's what makes me so sad.

      Thank you for your ever gracious and loving comments 😀

  • Your outfits always instantly brighten my mood; they are fantastic! I loving wearing clothes that make me laugh, whether it be a silly design or shape, etc. You have great style, and I am so impressed by your wardrobe. Just do what makes you happy ::strawberry:: ::cherries:: ::bear::

    • Yes same here, I love looking ridiculous so I can look at my reflection in windows outside an laugh <3. You keep doing what you love too! ::celebrate:: ::OK!:: ::doggy::

  • Eline, thank you for another wonderful post!
    Like Julija I grew up in fear of being judged for being myself, as so didn’t experiment with my style as much as I now feel I ought to have done. It’s only now I’m “grown up” that I’m re-addressing this. To my mind self expression through clothing is very rarely (if ever!) dangerous to others, so I try my best to get over my shyness and self-criticism. When others laugh I simply try to tell myself I’m brightening their day (though naturally I’d prefer if that was as they saw something unusual or interesting, not because they get joy from making others feel small).
    As Ann O. says, I feel sure many of us can sympathise with your feelings and welcome your openness in discussing the potential pitfalls we can experience in our day-to-day lives. Thank you again for keeping a blog which shows there can be a comfortable marriage of thought and style, and provides an honest snapshot of life’s good and bad. ::rainbow::

    • I tell myself the same thing if I’m having an at least okay-day! Let’s keep reminding ourselves though their motives may not be motives we ourselves stand behind, at least these people got a laugh out of it and something that resembles cheerfulness.

      Keep doing what you do regardless of anyone, and as you say as long as no one else gets hurt ::thumbsup:: ::rainbow::

      And thank you!! That’s been my goal for these last couple of years though I wonder if it’s limiting my job opportunities aaah haha! But this is something I believe in so damn that.

  • I am constantly scoping out the cool and unique outfits of others and I worry that it might look like I’m judging the people who wear these outfits instead of admiring them. Reading this post made me realize I should smile instead of just staring and take the time to pay a compliment more often. Please never stop dressing how you love to dress. The world needs more unique and stylish people like you in it! I know first hand how discouraging it can be sometimes, but just seeing your outfits makes me smile and makes me feel like being more courageous in how I dress too. Thank you for once again showing how personal style is more than just wearing clothes. Much long winded love! ::greycat:: ::mewlingcat:: ::rainbow::

    • Oh but I can tell the difference between a well-meant stare and a bad one, don’t you worry but a smile would be nice regardless. It always makes me happy. I come across women, old and young that do that and it always brightens my day. Usually they wear something I’m into as well so that’s always a lovely moment. & ::mewlingcat:: Thank you so much! ::yellowthing::

  • This is such a sweet look 😀 totally digging those sky-cloud socks. Your style is so unique and bubbly. Please don’t pay attention to what the haters say or do. Staring is just plain rude ::fatcat::

  • I can relate to you. Having people obviously stare at you sucks. And it’s even worse when they point and openly laugh at you. I really don’t understand what people are thinking when they do this. Anyway, if I saw you in the street I would be staring at you in awe because your outfit is awesome! I especially looove those cloud socks.

  • I gotta say I love the first sentence of this post. It made me laugh cause I immediately got how you felt! Staring battles are never fun, especially if you know that you’re the eclectic one and the other one basically has no right to make you feel bad but still somehow does.. Anyway – you have bright-blue-cloud socks – you’re fucking fabulous! So stay strong and go outside – idiots aren’t worth risking to die from starving, cause your fright might be empty and you don’t wanna go outside! Haha! Love xx

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